Desperado Read online

  “My wife and I are from southern California, and we’re headed for the northern goldfields.”

  “I’m not his—”

  Rafe sliced her a glare and she heeded his warning.

  “Well, we’re not sure if we’re going to prospect, or go home,” Helen said sweetly. “We had the misfortune to run into a few bandits who brought us here, but now I’m trying to talk my darling husband into the wisdom of giving up on the Gold Rush.”

  “Seen the elephant, have ya?” Big John remarked to Rafe with a rueful laugh.

  “Seen the elephant? What the hell does that mean?”

  “Ya never heard the sayin’?” The big man raised his bushy ginger eyebrows in surprise. “It means ya got the gold bug. Well, no, actually it means more that a man gets hisself caught up in the excitement of the treasure hunt.”

  “But why an elephant?” Helen asked.

  “The story goes, there wuz this farmer onct who allus wanted ta see an elephant but never had,” Big John began his story with relish. Rafe saw men at surrounding tables listening closely to the tale, which they must have heard countless times before.

  “Anyways, one day a circus come ta town, and the farmer loaded his wagon with eggs and vegetables and headed fer the market. Along the way he met up with the circus parade led by an elephant. His horses bucked and run away, and the wagon overturned. There wuz a godawful mess of broken eggs and bruised vegetables, but the farmer said, ‘I don’t give a damn. I have seen the elephant.’”

  Helen’s forehead creased with puzzlement. “And the point?”

  “The point, sweet lady, is that I purely do agree with you ’bout the wisdom of gold diggin’. Mos’ miners come back with nothin’ more’n broken eggs and bruised vegetables, so ta speak.”

  “But,” Rafe added, “you’re also saying that seeing the elephant is worth it for the adventuresome man . . . or woman.”

  “Yep.”

  “Wisdom versus excitement,” Helen asserted.

  “Caution versus opportunity,” Rafe amended.

  “Ya both be right,” Big John concluded, standing. “But my best piece of advice, mi amigo, is that, if yer gonna prospect, go far north. Mexicans ain’t welcome in mos’ mining camps these days.” Rafe bristled. “Now, now, don’t go gettin’ yer blood up. I offer the advice kindly, jist so ya know what yer up agin.”

  Rafe relaxed a bit. “Thank you, then.”

  “Ya heard ’bout the Foreign Miners Tax that the legislature passed a few months past, ain’t ya?”

  Rafe shook his head slowly.

  “All the furriners that wants ta work a claim gots ta pay twenty dollars a month, iffen they’ll even ’low you to file a claim a’tall. Mostly, furriners means you Mexicans and the Celestials, but really any man what comes from another country. Ya gots ta watch yer back, man.”

  “I’m an American,” Rafe grated out.

  “Son, that don’t make no nevermind. Any man with dark skin and an accent is a furriner here,” Big John corrected. “Hell, even the native Californeos who bin here forever are bein’ called outsiders by the Yankees.”

  A muscle twitched in Rafe’s cheek.

  “Now, young man, lower yer hackles. I dint say I agree. I’m jist tryin’ ta save ya some aggravation.”

  “Hey, no big deal! I’ve lived with this kind of crap all my life.” Rafe raised his chin proudly, defensively.

  Helen’s heart went out to Rafe. Apparently, he would have to fight prejudice, even in these primitive times. And she, as a woman in the male-dominated military, knew how bigotry felt.

  After Big John walked off, they consumed every morsel on their plates, even the rhubarb pie that Rafe, at first, turned his nose up at. Now they sat sipping their coffee.

  The whole time they dined, Helen tried hard to ignore the gawking men and echoing whispers of “Elena” and “corkscrew” and “gargling,” and “forms.” Obviously, the miners still chose to believe she was the famous prostitute. Wishful thinking.

  One of the men lit up a big smelly cigar and began to drag on it appreciatively. She coughed in revulsion as the offensive smoke drifted toward their table. Despite her exaggerated efforts to wave the smoke away, the man continued to puff enthusiastically.

  She turned back to Rafe, who was studying her with a strange expression on his face. He hadn’t shaved in days, and dark whiskers covered his jaw. His uncombed black hair was pushed back roughly off his forehead and behind his ears, down to his collar.

  Helen watched, mesmerized, as his long fingers traced a path around the rim of his cup. The whole time, his pale blue eyes under their sinfully long lashes held hers in question.

  “What?” she asked hesitantly. The smoldering look in his eyes bothered her a whole lot more than the overt remarks of the men surrounding them, or the blatant, erotic teasing he’d subjected her to for days. “Well, spit it out. What’s the problem now?” she prodded.

  “I want to kiss you all over.”

  Chapter Nine

  He wanted to seize the day, and the night, too . . .

  A low strangling sound escaped her throat. “No!” she squeaked out.

  His face fell. “Why not?”

  “Why not? Why not?”

  “Now, Helen, don’t give me that commanding officer crap. I thought we agreed long ago that we’re on equal footing here.”

  “Rafe, you just barely escaped hanging. I’m still dodging the corkscrewer rap.” A waft of repugnant cigar smoke swept toward their table, and she shot a glare at the offending smoker behind her. Turning back to Rafe, she said, “I would sell my soul for a bath and a clean bed. Why would you all of a sudden think you want to kiss me?”

  “There’s no thinking about it, babe. Uh uh. I want to, real bad. And don’t for one minute consider this a sudden inclination. I wanted to kiss you the first time I saw you sixteen years ago, and I’ve thought of nothing else since I saw you boarding that aircraft on Saturday.”

  “You’re making this up just to disconcert me, and—”

  “Do I disconcert you?” His lips turned up with satisfaction.

  “Not in that way, you egomaniac. Besides, you did kiss me. In the middle of our skydive. And then again in the alley.”

  He hooted at her ready remembrance of those two brief kisses. “Those were appetizers. I’m looking for more, lots more. Plus, as I said, I want to kiss you all over. None of those five-second virgin pecks.”

  “I’m not listening to another word. I don’t know why you get your kicks teasing me, but it’s not funny at all.”

  She started to stand, but he reached across the table and nudged her back down to her bench.

  “Do you see me smiling?” His voice was husky.

  “Then why?”

  “Well, it’s like this, Helen,” he said, taking her hand in his from across the table, despite her efforts to resist. He turned it over palm side up and began to create erotic patterns with a forefinger along the lines. “I want to make love to you so bad my teeth hurt,” he admitted in a low, thick voice, his eyes holding her captive. “I don’t know what’s going to happen to us tomorrow, or even an hour from now. So, I’d kinda like to, well, seize the moment.”

  She blinked at him with utter amazement. “When did this conversation move from kisses to making love?”

  “It’s a natural progression for me,” he said brashly, peering up at her through his ridiculously long lashes.

  Speechless, Helen could only gape at Rafe.

  Taking her silence for lack of enthusiasm, Rafe continued, “You wouldn’t have to worry about getting pregnant. I already told you how I feel about kids and that I’ve had a vasectomy. No commitments, either. We’d end our relationship when we return to the future . . . if you wanted.”

  The insensitive jerk! She was fuming. And hurt. How could he think she would want such a casual, short-term affair? With anyone. “And what about my engagement?”

  He clenched his teeth and his lips thinned at that reminder. “You never talk
about your fiancé. Are you really in love with Elliott?” At least he’d used his name this time. “Do you really expect you’ll still marry?”

  She glanced down at her ringless finger and realized that she’d failed to retrieve her engagement ring from Ignacio. How could she have not missed the symbol of her impending marriage? It was a telling lapse on her part. “In all honesty, no.”

  “No what?”

  “No, I’m not in love with Elliott. I care about him, but I’m not ‘in love’ with him. And, no, I won’t be marrying him now.”

  The smile spreading across Rafe’s face was so beautiful, she gasped. Battling for self-control, she told him, “Elliott and I were headed for a breakup long ago. That’s probably why we’ve been engaged so long. But that doesn’t mean I’d want to . . . to . . .”

  “Make love with me?” His lips were parted sensually, and he looked as if he might lean across the table and kiss her.

  She tried to wrest her hand out of his grasp. He held on tighter and laced his fingers with hers.

  “C’mon, Helen, live a little. Stop thinking about what’s logical and correct. Do what feels right.”

  It was the most outrageous suggestion anyone had ever made to Helen in all her life, even if he was being bluntly honest with her. “I’ve got to admit, you stun me—”

  “Stun is good.”

  She gave her head a rueful shake. “—but the answer is—”

  He pressed his fingertips against her lips. “I promise you this, babe, you wouldn’t regret it.”

  “I’m already regretting listening to you.”

  “I’d make it last so-o-o long.”

  She laughed. “Your humility is endearing.”

  “You’d be so hot, you’d beg me to quench your fire.”

  “Hah! You couldn’t even ignite a spark in me.”

  He flashed her a knowing grin. Surely, he didn’t suspect the flames of desire that licked through her already?

  “I’d teach you to come, over and over and over, till your tongue curls,” he promised.

  Helen knew he was just trying to shock her, but she bit on her tongue just to make sure it stayed right where it should, uncurled.

  “I’d take your screams in my mouth, and you’d take mine in yours.”

  Screams?

  “It might only be for the brief time we’re together, but it would be the best time of both our lives. That’s not bragging, honey, it’s a fact.”

  He pulled her hand up to his lips and kissed her wrist.

  She thought her pulse would jump through the skin.

  He smiled coaxingly. “So, Helen, will you make love with me?”

  She should have said no, instantly. Oh, Lord, I am so tempted.

  She should have slapped his face. He looks so vulnerable. How can a man making an obscene suggestion appear vulnerable?

  Molten need pooled between her legs, and suddenly she felt dizzy.

  It must be a delayed reaction to the events of the past few hours, she told herself. She stood shakily, inhaled deeply, and almost choked on a huge draft of cigar smoke.

  And then she fainted.

  First, one shock, then another . . .

  Groggily, Helen swam up from the bottom of a deep pool. The wetness of the water cooled her heated face and droplets ran down her neck. She opened her eyes slowly to the sun and saw, instead, a canvas roof. And Rafe!

  She tried to sit up, but he forced her back down to the cot where she was lying. Dipping a cloth into a bucket of water, he leaned over her and gently wiped her brow. The expression of concern on his face would have touched her if she wasn’t so worried herself.

  “Thank God,” he said when her eyes opened. “Are you okay?”

  She nodded sluggishly.

  “Boy, I’ve known women to swoon over the prospect of making love with me, but outright fainting? Damn, that’s a first for me. Do you faint when you come, too?”

  She swatted his hand with the wet cloth aside and scanned her surroundings. Big John stood behind Rafe, wringing his hands. “It weren’t my fish what made ’er swoon. No sirree, I don’t serve bad fish.”

  Behind him in the flap that separated the makeshift sleeping area from the restaurant stood a half dozen curious miners. “Mebbe she’s breedin’,” one of them said.

  Rafe stiffened. “Are you?” he asked accusingly.

  “What?”

  “Pregnant?”

  “No!”

  His shoulders relaxed and he turned away, ordering, “All of you men, out of here! Now!”

  Grumbling, they obeyed, even Big John, who was still muttering, “Don’t be blamin’ me. I serve fresh fish.”

  Rafe sat down on the cot next to her. “Are you sure you’re not knocked up?”

  Her hot face felt even hotter. “I’m absolutely sure. It was the cigar smoke that made me faint. I can’t stand cigars.”

  “Maybe we’d better find a doctor to double-check.”

  Fighting back wooziness, she forced herself to a sitting position. “Give it up, Rafe. I’m not pregnant. It’s impossible.”

  “Maybe you need a few lessons in the facts of life, Helen. Men and women make love. Babies result.”

  “Aaaargh! I didn’t make love.”

  “You didn’t? Ever?”

  “Of course, I’ve made love, you idiot. Just not . . . lately.” She immediately regretted her disclosure when a smug grin spread over his face.

  “Define lately.”

  “No.” She stood and tried to brush the wrinkles from her pants and blouse. It was a hopeless endeavor.

  “A month?” he persisted, rising to his feet.

  She refused to answer and began walking to the doorway.

  “Two months?”

  She made a tsking sound of disgust.

  “Three months?”

  Her head jerked up sharply in reflex.

  “Well, I’ll be damned,” he whooped. “You haven’t made love with a man in three months. Not even with your Kentucky Fried Colonel.” He threw an arm over her shoulder and pulled her close. “We’re gonna be so good together.”

  They were still arguing, “Yes, we are,” “No, we’re not,” when they hit the street and the harsh reminder that this was 1850 California, and they didn’t have enough money for a bath, let alone a hotel room to make love.

  But the harshest reminder came when they glanced across the street to an open lot where a large crowd had gathered.

  “Oh, my God!” Rafe said and pressed her face into his chest. But not before she saw Ignacio hanging by the neck from a tree limb. Dead.

  Helen gagged and made no protest when Rafe led her quickly in the opposite direction with an arm still wrapped around her shoulder. The furious miners were congratulating themselves.

  “Damned greasers! We oughta string ’em all up.”

  “Horse thieves and Mexicans . . . They’re all the same.”

  “Dang it all, I never did meet me an honest tamale eater.”

  “Let’s go get a drink. Lynchin’ sure does work up a thirst in a law-abidin’ man.”

  A gambling lawyer? Oh, boy! All bets were off now . . .

  A short time later, they stood in the same dark alley where they’d escaped the bandits. Braced against the wall with both hands in his pockets, Rafe brooded, trying to decide on their next move. Helen was rinsing her mouth with water from a bucket at the back door of the hotel.

  “Ignacio was a vicious man, but I never would have wished this on him,” she said when she returned to his side.

  “Me, neither. I should’ve known, though. Pablo told me about a man who’d had his head shaved and ears cut off, and was given a hundred lashes just for stealing a poke of gold dust.”

  She stared at him, aghast. “Well, don’t blame yourself.”

  “I’m the one who told the sheriff about the stolen horses.”

  “Stop the blame game, Rafe.”

  He shrugged. “At least Pablo and Sancho have escaped. Helen, we’ve got to get out of
town as soon as possible, too, before the miners change their minds about us.”

  She nodded. “We’ll go back to the landing site.”

  “No.”

  Even in the dim light from the half-open doorway of the hotel, he could see the flare of her nostrils. “It’s too dangerous to stay here,” she insisted.

  “I’m not going back till I have gold,” he said obstinately. “Lots of it.”

  “I’ll give you money if that’s all that’s keeping you here,” she pleaded. “I have a trust fund from my mother. Would . . . would twenty thousand be enough?”

  Hurt and rage washed over him in a blinding tidal wave. “I don’t want your money,” he lashed out.

  “Why not? What difference does it make how you get it?”

  He bristled with indignation at the insult. Did she think he had no pride at all? “It makes a hell of a lot of difference. I earn my own way. I always have. What do you take me for? Some kind of gigolo?”

  “No! A gigolo gives sexual favors for money, and—”

  “And I’d give those to you for free,” he finished for her with a tight smile. “So, it must be that I’m just a low-class, ignorant, ethic-less, Mexican greaser out for a quick buck.”

  “Oh, get off it, Rafe. It has nothing to do with your nationality.”

  He sliced her a look of disbelief. “I’m staying here till I earn enough gold to go back to the future a rich man. Frankly, I’ve lost my appetite for making love with you. So, do whatever the hell you want.” Rafe stomped away.

  “Where are you going?” Helen asked as she caught up with him.

  “To a gambling hall.”

  That drew her up short. “Should we be mingling in public? People might still think you’re the Angel Bandit.”

  “That’s a chance I’ll have to take.”

  “I suppose you want to gamble so you can make enough money for gold-digging supplies.”

  “Yeah, but in case you haven’t noticed, sweetheart, we don’t have enough money even for a place to sleep. Only the twenty dollars in gold dust that Big John gave me. And look at the sign on the City Hotel. Five dollars a night, not including bath and breakfast. Per person.”